Many of us in the Lifestyle are meeting couples on line. It seems safe and easy. I, however, have found it not so easy. Not everyone is honest, not everyone shows up and it is time consuming. So whether you meet at a club (much more fun) or on line, here are some tips for success:
Be honest! Be honest with yourself, your partner and potential play couples. Know what you like and how you like to play. Know what kind of relationship you want and what kind of fun you are looking for. If you are not sure or just exploring, let them know that too. Success in the Lifestyle is dependent on an honest relationship, both with your partner and potential play partners.
Be honest when you post your profile and photos. We knew a couple that we felt was attractive however on their profile they had placed a much different body onto their heads. Why is that necessary? It does not make sense to be something you are not when your intention is to meet. If you are 150lbs and say you are 110, don’t you think they will notice? Watch out for couples who seem too good to be true, they probably are. Trust your instincts.
Write a good profile. Keep it light and friendly and avoid anything negative. Never include last name, address, phone numbers or any identifying information. It is still a strange world out there and you do not want to set yourself up to be a target. Your profile should include information about both of you. Describe your appearance and personalities. If you do pictures they should include both of you. Most couples are looking for couples so present yourself as a couple.
Your profile should include what you are looking for. Be specific but not limiting. If you read your profile would you know what you are looking for? If so, others will also.
Photos are a personal choice. Many couples will not respond with out photos and some use the photos to pick specific types. We use them when ready to meet so we can recognize each other.
Meet only when you are ready. Meet in a safe place. Clubs work very well because then if you do not click there are other couples to interact with.
Watch for red flags. Displays of anger, frustration at your questions, attempts to pressure or control. Watch how they interact with each other as a couple. Do they communicate, do they enjoy each other, and is one pressuring the other? How they treat each other is a big clue on how they will treat you.
Never do anything you are unsure about!